I am not at a crossroads in my life because I have chosen my road.  I am here and I am a man, maybe.  I don’t mean that I am questioning my gender, I’m just not sure if I can call myself an adult.  Recent events would lead me to believe that I have made the transformation from boy to man.  I’ve experienced feelings that I didn’t know existed.  I thought I had felt everything there is to feel in some form or another.  I haven’t experienced everything.  I am young yet I am not naïve enough to think I’ve dealt with every situation that one can experience but I believe that there are certain base feelings that makeup every situation.  I thought I had experienced every feeling but not every situation.  I just suffered a new emotion and it required something drastic in order for me to discover this new emotion.  I sit here now, at my computer, with the realization that there are probably an infinite amount of feelings yet for me to discover and there are feelings that I will never have the opportunity to feel, due to our limited lifespan as human beings.   


This something drastic has changed my perspective on everything and what the worth of it all is.  I am not sure what the point is anymore.  Is the answer with God?  Is there even an answer?  Do I even care?  I used to look at life and feel all these wonderful emotions of grandeur and how everything is beautiful if looked at from the right angle.  I used to think every emotion was worth feeling, good or bad, in order to gain wisdom.  Optimism overshadowed reality.  I do not doubt that I am wiser but I would rather go through life being ignorant of this emotion.  I used to think that given the opportunity to experience and understand something new was detrimental in life in order to become wiser so I could help myself in the future with making knowledgeable decisions. 


I now see life simply as a beginning, hopefully a drawn out middle, and an end.  Those of us that are lucky get the drawn out middle and then there are some of us that only have a beginning and an end with barely room for the middle.  Then there are also the ones only with the inkling of a beginning.  I can’t even give those unlucky few ends because their beginning wasn’t even officially the beginning.  It is like someone saying be… then being cut off mid sentence.  They weren’t allowed to start.  It’s like a countdown and stopping on the two before ever getting to one to begin the race.  The moment of a start is never given its chance.  Almost like it never happened, but we all know that it was there.  We heard that person say three, two… or heard them begin to say beginning with just the word be before getting cut off.  But once you don’t finish the beginning was there ever really a beginning at all?  In my heart the answer is yes.  Once you know that something is started and you can finish the start in your own head, even if it didn’t pan out in reality and in physical space, something has begun. 


The start of something new is such a wonderful and exciting thing.  I’ve started anew so many times with fear and excitement taking over my emotions and I look back at all those beginnings with a happy nostalgia.  I remember how I could’ve gone down a hundred different paths by making different choices and fortunately or unfortunately the paths I chose to tread have led me here.  But having those options was so exhilarating and nerve wracking that I sit here and smile as I reminisce.  I may have totally fucked up in the middle but I remember fondly the potential of the beginning and that is why I consider the beginning as the most beautiful part of any story because potential is a beautiful thing.    


My Haiku Website

My Haiku Website

Capturing the true essence of the season of Spring

MMI Experience

In our trip to the Museum of the Moving Image we were shown different stations, cameras, television sets, old films from the beginning of filmmaking, sound editing, and more than I can remember from off the top of my head right now.  The sound-editing demo was one that I seem to remember the most.  Our tour guide showed us a clip from the Titanic when the ship was sinking.  There were people swimming everywhere, cables snapping, the ship was cracking, a huge tower breaking off the ship and landing in the water music, dialogue, and people running and screaming everywhere. 

            We learned that all those sounds were on separate tracks and could be taken out of the film.  If we wanted to turn off the music and just leave the sounds of the actual scene we could.  If we only wanted dialogue we could do that as well.  It was pretty funny just hearing the dialogue but it also made me realize how staged the whole experience of watching the film was.  Those sounds didn’t occur on stage or during the filming, but they were added in during postproduction.  I’ve always known this but to actually see it was a little sad in a way because it takes away from my youthful and naïve way of watching films where I’m totally fooled and immersed in the film but it really helped me in understanding more about film and in my pursuit of being a filmmaker. 

            I’ve been told multiple times that film is a collaborative effort and art form.  The director directs and coordinates all these different artists and employees to give him or her the grand picture that is set in his or her mind.  I learned about Foley artists during this demo and how they go out in the world to search for sounds.  The tower breaking off the ship and crashing into the water was the sound of an elephant and the crackling of a soda can.  Simple and effective because the sound of the elephant was sad like it was dying, just like the ship would be sad that it was sinking, and the soda can fooled me completely from being a tiny object to something being over 20 feet tall, I would assume.

Marlboro Design

“Design I Like”


            Hello, my name is Jeremy and I am an addict.  I am addicted to cigarettes.  My favorite brand of cigarettes is Marlboro.  My favorite Marlboro cigarette is Blend No. 27.   I started smoking pretty much my first week of college in Buffalo.  I was trying to fit in and would smoke “only when I drank.”  This led to me buying packs, smoking while studying, smoking in between classes, and just smoking whenever I felt like I wanted one.  I started with Marlboro Lights, yet they aren’t allowed to be called Marlboro Lights anymore, now the Marlboro Gold Pack.  I smoked them because I didn’t want a harsh cigarette because the harsh cigarettes made me cough.  I ended up with Blend No. 27, one of the harsher of the Marlboro cigarettes.

            Marlboro started out as a cigarette for women in 1924.  Their slogan was “Mild as May.”  The filtered tips were less harsh and were red so lipstick stains wouldn’t show.  Men smoked unfiltered cigarettes.  In the 1950s it became known that smoking caused lung cancer so Marlboro changed their marketing strategy to target men and were claiming filtered cigarettes were much safer and would help prevent lung cancer.  They adopted the Marlboro Man Cowboy and took over the cigarette business.

            Their design is simple for the cigarette.  The white part is what you smoke, the filter you put in your mouth, which is the much smaller end of the stick, and right above the filter you can read the word Marlboro.  Marlboro invented their own font, which causes an automatic recognition of the name, even if the word is too far too be legible.  The shape and individuality of the font makes it stand out.  The pack they created looks almost like a medal.  This comes from the legend on the pack, “Veni. Vidi. Vici.”  This translates to the Latin phrase quoted by Julius Caesar, “I came. I saw. I conquered.”
            I now smoke, when I can find and afford them, Marlboro No. 27’s.  The pack is golden and I think the coolest looking of the all the Marlboro packs.  That may be my subconscious reason for smoking them, but in my head I think they taste the best.  The design Marlboro created has made me a loyal customer, even though I hate myself every time I purchase these cancer sticks. Image

Empty vs Full

Artist Statement


Artist Statement

I’m not even sure how I would define an artist.  Could you just announce on any given day that you are indeed an artist?  Do you have to have some kind of portfolio with work?  Is it just a lifestyle or mindset?  I really have no clue.  When I come across some people I get this feeling after talking to them that yes, that person is an artist.  It’s the way they move and their opinions on the world that make me believe this, but I have been known to be fickle and could change my mind once I delve into really trying to ascertain what an artist truly is.

As for me, if I one day consider myself an artist, what I’ve learned is that there is a meaning to each piece of art.  I’ve learned in my film class that each film has to have some theme or a message.  In the class that I am in right now we just watched this piece by William Kentridge and discussed what the artist was trying to say.  I don’t have any messages to convey whenever I create something.  Before I learned anything about art I saw it as purely a form of entertainment to appreciate and ponder.  Every person gets his or her own message individually.

I’ve considered being a filmmaker for a couple years now, and recently started having doubts about my career choice, but when I was committed I saw myself making movies to make people ponder and think about just life in general.  It would make them reflect on him or her and not on some tangible idea such as politics or the environment.  My art would be personal and more about feelings and emotions then having a specific message in order to persuade or enlighten people.  I want people to look at what I’ve done and each person to take something different from it.